by Linda McGinn Waterman

SEVEN STEPS TO FORGIVING YOURSELF

Take a moment to imagine the worst thing you've ever done in your life. When was it? Did you do something you'll never forget and always regret? Does the incident still cause your face to flush or stomach to churn?

Do shame and guilt flood through your soul again as the events of that day, the emotions of that moment seem as fresh as when it happened? Does the remembrance make you want to cry?

Then I must ask you, have you ever experienced the grace of God's forgiveness for that particular moment? Have you forgiven yourself?

God promises that if we bring that moment, that event to Him in all its personal horror, describing and admitting the event without rationalization and without diminishing its reality as sin, He can be completely trusted to forgive us. David retells his experience, "Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity, I said, 'I will confess my transgressions to the Lord' - and you forgave the guilt of my sin." (Psalm 32:5)

We are told in the Bible that ultimately all sins are acts against God Himself, because we are missing His mark and standard for our lives, His perfect glory. Yet in His grace and mercy, forgiveness is guaranteed when we confess our sin. "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." ( I John 1:9) You admit your sin to God. He promises its total removal and we can count on His promise.

So why does the humiliation of the memory persist? I can think of two reasons. The first is Satan's accusation. He helps you with this unforgiveness. The enemy of your soul, Satan, enjoys your misery and preoccupation. All the time you spend focusing on your sin keeps you from spending time focused on God. Guilt and shame cause you to continually hide your face from Him. So Satan spends His time besieging you with accusations.

Yet we learn of the remedy for this in Revelation, "The great dragon was hurled down-the ancient serpent called the devil, Satan, who leads the whole world astray...Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say: 'Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God, and the authority of Christ. For the accuser of our brothers, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down. They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony..."

Besides Satan, you may be your own worst enemy. May I ask you another question? Have you ever forgiven yourself? Maybe you believe God has forgiven you but you can't seem to let yourself forget it. You still believe you deserve punishment. You imagine that God must not have understood the gravity of this sin. He should have treated you more harshly. So you never forgive yourself.

How can you stop this relentless attack?

1. Find a quiet place to do business with God. Create a "once and for all time" moment set aside to deal with the specific sin that haunts you.
2. Confess this sin to God for the last time facing it exactly as you remember it with all its ramifications. Neither hide nor rationalize anything. State the truth about this sin.
3. Write a detailed synopsis of the event in a prayer to God. Confess your sin to God in writing and prayer according to 1 John 1:9.
4. Receive the assurance of God's promise to you in 1 John 1:9 based on the knowledge that He cannot lie and is faithful to keep His word. Burn your written confession as an act of faith, confirming the reality that the sin is completely forgiven, and to be remembered no more.
5. Determine that if the memory and its accompanying feelings attempt to return, you will choose to willfully reject both. We are told, "Resist the devil and he will flee from you." (James 4:7) Do not even allow yourself to entertain the memory, but choose to put it out of your mind by repeating God's promise for your forgiveness. Psalm 103:12 and Micah 7:18-19 are God's powerful promises to memorize and repeat.
6. Renew your mind by focusing on the good things of God. Recount your blessings. Allow God's power to renew your mind by following Paul's directions to the Philippians, "Do not be anxious for anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things... And the God of peace will be with you." (Philippians 4:6-8)
7. Thank God for His forgiveness.