~CHURCH BULLETIN~
Sent by B.J. Anderson
To make it possible for everyone to attend church this Sunday, we are going to have a special "NO EXCUSE SUNDAY."
Cots and hammocks will be placed in the aisles for those who say, "Sunday is my only day to sleep in."
Eye drops and extra coffee will be provided for those with tired eyes from watching TV late Saturday night.
There will be a special section with padded recliner chairs for those who feel that our pews are too hard.
Doctors and nurses will be in attendance for those who plan to be sick on Sunday.
We will have steel hard hats available for those who say "The roof would cave in if I ever came to church."
One section will be decorated with trees and grass for those who like to seek God in nature.
Scorecards and pens will be provided for those who wish to list the hypocrites present.
Blankets will be furnished for those who say the church is too cold, and portable fans for those who say it is too hot.
And finally, the sanctuary will be decorated with both Christmas wreaths and Easter lilies for those who have never seen the church without them.
See you on Sunday... No Excuse
