I am always giving names to things so I decided to call this study, “Counting it all Joy” and begin with one of my favorite portions of scripture, which comes from the book of James, Chapter 1.

"...Count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing."
1:2-4 NKJV

This testimony / study (we have many) goes back to when my husband Tom and I were living in New York and were about to return to the west coast. We had bought an old watermelon truck to use as our moving van, which Tom had painted candy apple red, so it would not look too bad. Thankfully, it did not smell like rotten watermelons!

We had lived in New York 5 years serving in a ministry to West Point Cadets at the United States Military Academy. It was a fulfilling experience but now that it was time to go we both were more than ready!

We have always believed that God places every Christian in areas for a purpose. As we began seeking His will for where to go next, the scripture that came to us was from the book of Acts where the Lord spoke to Paul and said,

"...Rise and stand on your feet; for I have appeared to you FOR THIS PURPOSE, to make you a minister and witness both of the things which you have seen and of the things which I will yet reveal to you."
Acts 26:16

We knew God would continue to use us somehow to minister to others, and we knew God wanted us to be a witness of Him in our lives. He had done many things in our lives up until that point, and certainly, He had many things planned for us in the future.

My husband had served as pastor at Calvary Chapel in Northern California for many years and at West Point Full Gospel for over five. We had been saved for more than 30 years by that time, raised a family, experienced different cultures overseas, and had many bouts with adversity through which God gracefully and mercifully brought us.

I shared a more detailed version of this study back in 1997; on the first evening I spoke at a retreat where I was special speaker in Northern California. The theme that weekend was “Women of God in Times of Adversity.” This study brought the whole experience back to the forefront of my mind and heart once again.

As I reflect on a few experiences from New York and then some trials that came our way AFTER our return to the west coast, I pray that you can glean a few insights for your own Christian walks. I know that no matter what, God has asked me to count them all JOY regardless of the circumstances.. He showed me that clearly in 1997 and He makes me aware of the same thing today. God’s desire is for ALL of us to keep our handy calculators out…the necessity of joy counting is required more often than not.

Several burdens pointed us to a return to the west coast ...

• Tom’s mother was dying.
• My sister had developed breast cancer (and I, not knowing a thing about it, did not know if she was going to live or die).
• I missed my own mother very much. (I had seldom had the opportunity to visit her in all the years of our marriage. In fact, we had spent only one holiday with my family in all those years! Not a good thing for our children as they were growing up, but times were hard in those days with a growing family and growing church.)
• At West Point, we lost access to the Post Chapel where we met with the Cadets on Sundays, due to scheduling changes. Then we lost access to the Large Assembly Hall where we had church, as they decided to renovate it.
• After moving no less than five times in New York in the five years we resided there, we now had to move again, because they were selling our house and were not going to renew the lease.

It was obvious doors were shutting right and left for us in New York.

What took us to West Point in the first place was an invitation for Tom to come and take over a ministry there in 1989. We needed some miracles if we were to go. So we stepped out in faith, said yes, and waited to see them happen. We had no money to travel cross-country and no jobs ahead. (In California, Tom did not make much income as pastor and I was employed in the local school, and you do not get rich working in education.)

• However, our wonderful Lord worked out the transportation,
• Someone rented our place,
• And we had a temporary place to stay in NY until we found our own.
• Tom and I found work immediately,
• Most importantly, the move itself was confirmed in our hearts through God’s Word.

So off we went. Although we knew it was temporary that didn’t bother us. We have ALWAYS been open to adventure!

I think what was difficult for me was the fact that we no longer had a family type of ministry. West Point was geared towards young single men and women cadets (future military officers) and a few officers with families who rotated in and out constantly to other military posts. I became part of the Chaplain’s Wives group and all of the women were wonderful. The Ministry itself was great for Tom, who was the pastor-teacher but I REALLY MISSED the women’s groups I was involved with back home...

My burdens for seeing women grow in their relation to Jesus Christ burns in my heart daily.

However, even though West Point was sometimes difficult it was also wonderfully exciting and a blessing. We used our home to house the families of the cadets, we learned military protocol and attended balls and dinners prepared for retiring Generals, we took part in military promotions and graduation ceremonies…And I GOT TO DRESS UP A LOT!!! We also went to the Army football games where I sold tickets … and often saw famous people, which was interesting.

But....... I still missed my Christian lady friends. At times, I felt like the Lord in the way of ministry was shelving me.

I kept reminding myself it was only temporary.

What was significant about those five years we spent in New York? I believe the Lord was stretching me. God had definitely put both Tom and me in that place for our own spiritual growth as well as the cadets. He was accomplishing things in our lives to prepare us for the days to come.

I won’t talk about the trip west...we did however look as if we had just come out of the GRAPES OF WRATH by the time we got to my mother’s home in Portland, Oregon!!!

When a trade job came through for my husband in Seattle to work as marine engineer on a catamaran that traveled to the San Juan Islands he liked that idea. But I was “jobless in Seattle” for months on end.

At West Point, I had been on the fast track going upward, carnally speaking. In Seattle, it was HUMBLING being rejected all the time. The longer it took the more discouraged I got. Then my husband’s job turned out to be seasonal so he was out of work too. We were hurting financially.

Two weeks after I finally landed a temporary position at a college (Seattle University), which was a couple of bus commutes from home, I tripped on the wet, slippery pavement in the middle of the road in downtown Seattle. I could not pull myself up, and cars were coming from both directions. An African American woman came up from behind me (to this day I call her my black angel because she just disappeared after that) and practically carried me to my bus stop. She put me on the second bus, and then when the bus driver helped me off at the school, I somehow hobbled four blocks to my office. I WASN”T ABOUT TO LOSE THAT JOB REGARDLESS OF HOW MUCH MY ANKLE HURT.

What I did not know was that my foot and ankle were broken. I hobbled on it for a week, took hot baths to try to ease the pain, and could not understand why it kept getting more swollen. (You are not supposed to soak a swollen foot or leg in HOT water!) My leg turned black and blue up passed my knee and swelled up a great deal more. My husband drove me to emergency four days later. That is when we discovered it was broken. I ended up in a leg cast up that went up past my knee for over three months ... (sigh)

I STILL WAS NOT ABOUT TO MISS WORK though, so my wonderful husband had to drive me to and from my job, because I could not get on and off the commuting busses ... And of course we had NO insurance from the hospital visit. Only God could see us through this time of frustration and humility but He provided...He is an awesome God!

The college had to lay me off around Thanksgiving because I was hired as a temporary worker, but two weeks later, the university called me to offer me a full-time position after the first of the New Year! I jumped at the chance. (Well, could not exactly jump ... not in my cast). It appeared as if things were going to look up! My husband also found another job, and began teaching a midweek home Bible Study group with our church, which was great in itself.

About a week before my job was to begin...on Christmas morning, it was icy outside as it often gets in Seattle. We were on the freeway heading to Portland to my mother’s for Christmas Dinner. I was so excited. And gladly I had had my cast removed the day before!

We had noticed cars had gotten stuck and had crashed all over the place due to the weather, and the next thing you know it when we got into Tacoma we hit a sheet of black ice and started spinning and spinning and rolling our bronco!It was a HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE feeling just watching and feeling it happen! Eventually we landed upside down into the rail right before it went off and over. My husband, Tom and I had our seat belts on, but our daughter did not. She was really hurt and I was in shock and my humble pies were ruined! We spent Christmas day in Tacoma General Hospital.

I could not believe I was seeing another hospital AGAIN and so soon!!! (Not a good way to spend Christmas, but I am just thankful that we were all alive especially my daughter Caree. By the time the taxi drove us back to Seattle, she looked as if she had been in a 12 round losing boxing match.)

In the back of my mind, those same words kept coming at me, “Shirley...count it all joy when you fall into various trials....” Ok, ok, I knew God was working in our lives. Were we going to trust him to bring us through this?

I read in 1 Peter 1:6-8a "In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ, whom having not seen you love..."

The trials we were going were painful for us, but to God the trials of our faith were precious...why? Because He had an ultimate purpose for us and He saw the end result just as HIS ULTIMATE PURPOSE IS ALWAYS GOOD FOR OUR LIVES.

That Christmas day our only means of transportation was shut down. Our intention was to be with family, but the Lord had other things on his mind for us that day. Did he cause the accident? No, God does not CAUSE these things to happen but ... He did allow it. It was happening ALL over the freeway that day.

So what was he teaching us? (Everything to me has a practical application.) It was that same old thing I was not getting... and that was to count it all joy. Our trials would bring patience... Our patience would bring maturity.... Our maturity meant we would grow up.... Grow up IN JESUS!

A friend gave us a car since we had none of our own. It was a pinkish-tan 62 Plymouth with no back window except for plastic attached with shiny gray and green tape. It was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO humbling.
I usually hid when we drove around in it.

What had happened to the military balls and gowns and fancy dinners? Oh well.

When it rained outside, the inside of the car smelled like mildew. Freeway driving was especially enjoyable. The plastic would pull away from the window part way and flap all over. This drew a lot of attention. On the soggy days, we froze because the heater did not work right. When we finally could get a car to buy, they would not even look at ours. In fact, we could not even convince someone to come and remove that monstrosity from our driveway. NOBODY even wanted it for junk!

At least Tom had a better job and the Bible Study was going well...but me? Well, something in my life was still missing. When we had moved to New York from California, I was extremely homesick. My friends and family lived so distant -- 3000 miles distant!

I was and still am an introvert by nature, but I still enjoy the company of people. My friends and I can sit comfortably in silence and no one cares. That is true friendship to me. You do not HAVE to make conversation...you just enjoy being with someone.

By the time we were in Seattle, I had reached the point where I felt uncomfortable praying aloud and could not even concentrate during my personal devotions. At Church, I wanted to cry all the time. Most of the time I did. I was aware that I was prone to cry easily, but this was too much...

Have you ever felt that way? Where was my JOY?

In my heart I was comforted by what I read somewhere which is that sometimes we can see further through our tears than through our laughter. This consoled me both then and does even now. I know it was extremely important to remember that at those times God IS ministering.

The Lord continued with His “Count it all joy” nudging AND BY THIS Time I was well aware that I was on a wilderness experience. I just wondered for how long.

Part of my daily prayer life included the words from Psalm 13:1. “How long wilt thou forget me, Lord? Forever? How long wilt thou hide thy face from me?”

God was busy breaking down my self-will. But I had a long way to go.

Then I read Deuteronomy and it hit home to my heart. In Chapter 8:2 says, “And you shall remember that the Lord your God led you all these forty years in the wilderness, to humble you and test you, to know what was in your heart...”

My personal wilderness experience was to humble me... to test me... and, oh, to discover what was in my heart! God wanted me in a place where I could really listen to what HE was trying to say TO MY HEART ABOUT MYSELF.

Just two months after I got my benefit package at the university, I discovered a large lump on my right breast. The doctor and radiologist told me it was a cyst and not to worry. Something in my heart told me it was something else. After all my sister had cancer, my two aunts died of breast cancer, my cousins had cancer, my dad died of cancer, and my grandmother died of cancer. My doctor finally relented and sent me to a breast surgeon for another opinion. I can remember him saying, “I can see this is really eating at you!”) It most assuredly was! AND I most assuredly was right. It had already invaded my lymph nodes.
God’s Spirit was speaking to my heart and I WAS LISTENING!

I just praise the Lord SO MUCH that I DID listen to Him regarding this. After many scared tears, I acknowledged that God was in control of my life and would not have allowed it except for HIS purpose and that SOMEHOW he would be glorified through it all.

Following a partial mastectomy then an operation to insert a port catheter into my chest to allow for chemotherapy and blood work I began my 13-month chemo regime. (It was supposed to have been 8 months but I could not keep my white blood count high enough.)

Some people become ill with chemo but it affected me differently. I wasn’t sick to my stomach much, but instead had continuous severe viral infections. Instead of losing weight, I gained 20 pounds. I lost all my hair and looked a lot like Bart Simpson, and my mouth was constantly full of huge painful sores. I was a mess really. And I was extremely weak.

The surgeon had to remove all the lymph nodes, so I developed Lymphedema which is when your arm gets all swelled up (full of liquid).. Had to visit him about three times a week so he could insert a needle and drain it. (He did not put a regular drain in because he did not think it was going to get that bad.)

One afternoon while waiting downtown for my bus ride home from work, I felt this overwhelming sensation along my right side. It felt warm, and then cold and I immediately knew what it was. When I saw a reddish brown puddle of fluid dripping off my favorite coat, I just wanted to cry. I was so exasperated. I was praying with all my might that people would surround me close so that no would look down and see it. My life was one humble mess.

I was depressed I have to admit...my friends were in California. Two wonderful things I must mention though: my mom (whom I had not seen much in the past) took a train up to stay with me often, which was such a blessing. Tom, my husband, was outstanding during this time as well and always by my side. Many husbands leave their wives when breast cancer comes on because they cannot handle the trials. Tom took them all right along with me.

Someone I did not even know well sent me some verses I hang onto even now because thoughts of cancer returning never go away... ISAIAH 43:1-3 ...Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine. When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee; when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned, neither shall the flame kindle upon the. For I am the Lord thy God, the Holy One of Israel, thy Savior...

A month after my chemo finally ended I began 6 ½ weeks of daily radiation. I felt and looked disgusting. My face and the cancer area were horribly swollen. The radiation caused 2nd degree burns where they had been administering it, and I was exhausted because I was still working every day, walking to two busses, then walking all the blocks up the hill to my house from the bus stop. I cried a lot... a whole lot, and kept hanging on to my precious Bible Verses. (We all need the precious Word of God to keep us going day by day! If you have not found your verses, take some time to seek the Lord for them.)

A friend of mine up in Washington, knowing when I was struggling, brought a poem in my office and laid it on my desk. I didn’t know it was a song but it spoke volumes to me. It was written by Twila Paris.

You know I used to wonder, “When will this all end, Lord?” And yet I knew I wasn’t alone. So many had gone before and many would follow. There may be some who are reading this testimony who have been through this experience. I had to keep remembering that no matter how dismal the situation appeared, JESUS WAS THERE. HE’D GONE THROUGH EVERYTHING FOR ME... AND EVERYONE ELSE TO THE POINT OF EVEN DYING!

The Lord then gave me another promise then from Psalm 116:6-9 ...I was brought low, and he saved me. Return to your rest, oh my soul. For the Lord has dealt bountifully with you. For you have delivered my soul from death, my tears from falling. I will walk before the Lord in the Land of the Living.

The Lord wanted me to cultivate more faith, patience, and hope. I know that now.

• Faith to keep my eyes on Him
• Patience to submit to the hand of God during my trials,
• Hope in knowing he has an ultimate plan for my life and that he WILL accomplish HIS purpose in my life.

Each one of us is called for a purpose.

The wilderness experience is a wild and fallow place. Not very comfortable. But the Lord plants His faith seeds, and patience seeds, and hope seeds within each one of us. And although physical, mental, and spiritual battles are painful, I know that when we are weak, He is made strong. When I remember this I find it much easier to be thankful, and I’m able to count it all joy just as he asked me to in James chapter 1.